Everyone Loves Heero
by The Blue Seeress
Summary: NOT a spoof of everyone loves raymond. just the title fits. i have never seen that show. anyway, just a bit about duo, heero and everyone else. enjoy.


feel the love. i don't own them, and sadly i'm not getting paid for this. there are people who get paid to write fanfiction. there's even a few who do it for a living. why am i not getting paid? because i haven't gotten anyone's permission. damn that sucks. but now read my little contribution to the fandom, and realize that you, too, love heero.  
  
Everybody Loves Heero  
  
You never did tell me why you left her. Not that I was surprised, but you never told me why. It kinda hurt me.  
  
I told you what happened with Hilde. In a nutshell, she got too dependent on me, so I acted like a promiscuous jerk so she'd leave. I'm actually very faithful, but I didn't want to hurt her by breaking up with her.  
  
Yeah.  
  
So what did happen with the Queen of the World? Did she stick her nose into your missions too much. I'll bet she brought you to too many ceremonial functions as well. You must have hated that. I saw you two on TV once. You're hair was combed and geled down. Your face looked bland and emotionless, but your eyes blazed.  
  
You have nice eyes, you know?  
  
But they blazed. You looked downright pissed. Was it the fact that you where under the public eye after a life of anonymous Oz sabotage? Maybe your suit was too tight, but what could be tighter than your shorts, or your jeans for that matter, is beyond me. Did she not let you bring your gun?  
  
I'll just bet it was your hair. I love your hair. It's so wild and free, and I'm sure it took a whole gallon of Trowa's gel just to get it to lie flat. It must have pissed you off, not being able to run your had through your hair.  
  
It would have pissed me off. My hands always yearn for your hair, your skin...heh, well YOU.  
  
The point is I don't know why you left her. I don't know what made you so angry. And I REALLY want to know. So that if you ever realize what I feel for you, I won't drive you away. I don't want you to leave me like you did her.  
  
Maybe you have noticed. Maybe you already know what I've known ever since you destroyed Libra's fragments.  
  
Everyone loves you, you know. EVERYONE I'm not kidding. You could be such a pimp, if you were like that, but you're not, and that's why it's possible.  
  
I love irony, don't you?  
  
Trowa has been attracted to you ever sense the first time you self detonated. Then he had the golden oppertunity to watch you sleep and recover. Who could help being infatuated with you after watching that daring, macho stunt and then seeing you vulnerable for days on end. If it had been me...well, let's just say I envy Trowa.  
  
Quatre loves everyone and everything. He loves life. You he wants to take care of, because he can't see how much you enjoy life. You do, you know. You hide it well, maybe even from yourself, but I see the utter happiness when you overcome an obstacle. I've seen you repair an "unsalvagable" space needle, then flop back against one of the lifts and laugh. It comes straight from your heart, loudly, and it only sounds a little manaical because, like the rest of us, you're a little crazy. But you do enjoy life. Quatre has trouble seeing you do it, so he tried to take care of you. Then he found out you were the Heart of Space, and that sealed him to you. When I told him you wanted you Gundam sent into space, I could see him wishing to go with it. He's drawn to you.  
  
Don't misunderstand me. Trowa and Quatre both love eachother. Did you know they have a marriage license? But beneath it all, they're still attracted to you.  
  
Must be nice.  
  
You must have know about Treize. Only a complete moron could have missed Treize's interest in you. He built Epyon for two reasons, and you're both of them.For one, you were alone with him in a dark room, pointing a gun in his direction. The nobility in the sick world we live in seems strangely turned on by you pointing guns at them. The second reason is that he was interested in seeing what you would do with it. You're his concept of the ideal soldier, you know? If there is a heaven, and he made it, he's probably devoting half his time studying your past, a quatre studying you and the rest of the time watching Zechs. By giving you Epyon, he got to watch the perfect soldier play with the perfect weapon. That probably turned him on too. Eccentric rich bastard.  
  
You're also Wufei's ideal. He wants to be you more than anything else. And then there's the problem that he's way to strong for most women...a heck, most PEOPLE. He doesn't do the strong protector of the damsel in distress bit. He does the warrior on warrior.   
  
He envies you and he never stops thinking about you. He trains constantly, muttering that he must be strong enough for you. Naturally, he doesn't know I'm listening.  
  
I hope he's got you wrong. I'm not exactly the bold warrior, you know. I'm screwed if he's right. Or rather, I'll never be screwed...I love word games, don't you?  
  
Then there's Zechs. He's so straight it's painful, but he still craves you. Oh yes, he's straight. The long hair and leg crossing is more residue from a noble upbringing than sexual orientation. He's lost a lot of that. His hair is shorter now, about shoulder length, and he wears it in a ponytail. He also sprawls. He looks better sprawling, anyway. But you see, his homophobia was the direct cause of him leaving Oz and eventually joining the White Fang.Isn't that amazing? A cataclysmic space battle essentially caused by one man's effort to get away from Trieze's pursuit. Howard told me that before he woke up and left for space when they met, he heard Zechs muttering the same thing over and over in his sleep.  
  
"Treize...stop following me around."  
  
Only rich people, huh? In spite of all this homophobia, have you noticed how much effort he puts into running into you? It reminds me of teenage girls hiding around corners to bump into their crushes. I think Noin noticed too. She used to talk to him about your missions, but she's stopped.  
  
I think she's jealous. I could write about the girls, too, but I think you get the picture by now. They all love you. Hell, I might as well say it, WE all love you. Yes, me too. Even the God of Death.  
  
It came on me gradually. In case you haven't noticed, I observe people. I don't think anyone can observe you for any length of time and not feel SOMETHING for you. I might be biased though. I mean, just because I can't resist you doesn't mean no one can.  
  
Why is complicated. Hell, for the longest time I didn't even know what I was feeling. I was happy when you remembered my name. I wasn't pissed when you stole parts from my gundam. Ask Howard sometime about how totally bizarre that is. I feel happy everytime you're around, and I barely knew why. It's clearer now.  
  
To start with the easy and the obvious, you're beautiful. I mean absolutely gorgeous. You have the most intense eyes I have ever seen, and their the darkest blue. Have you ever stared at a deep pool in low light (don't ask when I have, it's a long story)? Your eyes remind me of that. I found this out by accident, but your hair is so damn soft. Messy, yes; tangled, yes; but soft as hell. Of course, the first time was an accident, but I confess freely to brushing it whenever remotely possible. It's also the color of chocolate. I like chocolate. I envision (entastion?) licking chocolate off your chest.  
  
Heh, how'd that get out? Oops.  
  
Anyway, it's not just from the neck up. Watching you move has got to be the most awesome vision in the world. I love your skin tone. I love the way your muscles move beneath that silky smoothness. I love how the way you dress leaves plenty of opportunity for me to see this. I know that wasn't what you had in mind when you picked those clothes, but guess what? Those shorts drive me crazy.  
  
It's not just what I can see (or feel) either. I love it when you're laughing. You look completely and supremely happy, and it's like nothing else matters at all. Your emotions are...well, I guess I'd have to say their pure. No guilty pleasure, and you always know what you feel. That whole "do what your heart tells you," you don't just say it, you do it. At least as near as I can tell.  
  
And you've yelled at me and you've saved me and you've fought with me and you've studied with me. There are a billion things you done or said that just completely pushes me over the top. I love you. Lately, I've even started writing my diary to you, though I'm not sure if I want you to read it or not.  
  
If you ever do, you'll probably wonder why I've never said anything. Well, at first it was the competition. Relena, for one. You just didn't poach on what she considered her territory. Not when she pratically runs the school. After all, what if she got me kicked out? Then what would I use as an excuse to have you in my room in the afternoon, since I wouldn't be able to use homework?  
  
Then you dumped her...and every girl and quite a few of the guys jumped on the bandwagon. And I watched and thought, how can I show that I'm different from all those whining puppies? So I let it go. Then we graduated, and the competition was gone. There went my excuse.  
  
But then I was convinced you knew everything about everyone around you, and knew everything I just wrote down and chose to do nothing about it. But then you left and I've had time to ponder the situation and endlessly and wonder if you really did know. What if you didn't? What if you never gave any sign that you knew because you actually didn't know? I wish I knew more about you. It feels kind of weird to say this, but I feel like I could spend the rest of my life doing just that, getting to know you better. But I don't know if you feel the same or if you could maybe in time and I wish like hell you were around to ask.  
  
But you accepted a comission in a group exploring the Bermuda Triangle. WHY THE DAMNED TRIANGLE?!? I know, it's like you, and you needed a challenge, but people have disapeared there and I worry all the time that you might be one of them and that would kill me.  
  
The rational part of me says, hey he survived everything else but the panicky part conks it upside the head when it tries.  
  
I miss you. I miss having you just down the hall. I miss being able to fool myself that one day I'd walk down that hall and tell you just how I feel. Before I was fooling myself. Now, though, when I see you again, I don't think I'll be able to keep from flinging my arms around you and spilling everything.  
  
You promised Quatre you'd go to college with the rest of us. You said outright that you'd be back in plenty of time. I hold on to that. In a month, the fall semester starts, so you could be back any day.  
  
Hurry up, would you?  
  
~Owari~  
  
Author's Note: Muahahaha. I, the supreme evil one, dangle you from a large cliff. For a small fee, I might let you off that cliff. That fee is...REVIEWS!! please? 


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